


You sheltered me from the storm.

by fate_incomplete



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 10:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fate_incomplete/pseuds/fate_incomplete
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first year in Stormcage had been the hardest, as River came to realise just how much time she would spend alone, waiting. Yet an unexpected friendship, and the ever expanding entries in her diary of adventures with the Doctor, made the sacrifice of keeping her secret worthwhile. She lived for the friendship and love of two men, but more importantly, she learned to live for herself. In the end, she made her life her own, and the legend of River Song grew in its own right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You sheltered me from the storm.

River sat restlessly on the edge of her bed. A flash of lightening illuminated the starkness of her cell, as the beat of her fingers against the cover of her diary echoed gently in the emptiness. She flipped open the cover, eyes scanning the fourteen entries, each word achingly familiar. Forty-three days, six hours and seventeen minutes into a twelve thousand consecutive life sentence, willingly accepted to keep a secret.

She sighed as she read every entry yet again, as always, unable to stop thinking of when the next one would be written. She refused to write anything in it other than the escapades that filled her nights, though not every night.

It had been three days since the Doctor had taken her to meet the Queen of England. She closed the book, hugging it to her chest as she lay down, watching as the relentless rain streaked down the small window. She usually enjoyed the sound of it, but tonight it was just dreary, as she wondered for the first time if this was to be all there would be for the rest of her life. Nights spent alone, waiting, always waiting for a fleeting moment to be etched in ink.

River closed her eyes, stubbornly tossing the thought aside. It had been worth it, would always be worth it.

.......................

Three weeks later, the Doctor finally turned up. She scowled at him as she pushed past him into the TARDIS, torn between anger, relief and excitement. He took her supposedly to see the 3090th recorded appearance of the weeping Madonna; they ended up in the middle of a battle on Agrovan Seven instead.

Twelve exhausting and exhilarating hours later, he dropped her back in her cell, promising to return sooner this time. River collapsed on her bed, body still flooded with adrenaline as she diligently captured the memory in words.

.......................

River leaned against the wall, cheek resting against the cold surface of the window. The diary was hidden away in the wall of her cell, but she could feel the weight of it. One hundred and Seventy-Two days, and forty-three journal entries into an impossibly long sentence.

Promises kept, promises broken, too many nights curled up alone, with far more waiting for her.

She watched idly as her breath fogged the surface of the window. Stormcage was quiet. It was always quiet, with only the constant rain, footsteps of guards and the occasional echo from other prisoners. She supposed solitary confinement was part of the punishment for 'murdering' the Doctor. At least she had a window, though River guessed the ever present, raging storms were oppressing to most.

She found it fitting. The Doctor had been called the oncoming storm by some, and it seemed she was destined to be trapped within one, by him, for him. It all appropriately blurred together.

Footsteps echoed in the passageway outside her cell. River looked up; it wasn't the usual time for the guard's rounds. She walked to the front of her cell, wrapping fingers around the cold bars, tilting her head slightly as she followed the sound of the footsteps as they grew closer. A hooded figure appeared at the end of the empty passageway. Her heart flipped for a second, hoping it was her Doctor, but the stature was all wrong.

The man halted as he reached her cell. River guessed human, but it was hard to tell with the shadows and cloak concealing his face. She waited, a little unnerved by the unexpected visitor and lack of guard escorts.

"Is it true?" The man asked.

"You'll have to be a little more specific?" River replied coyly.

"Is the Doctor dead?"

"Well if he isn't, I'll be demanding a repeal, and compensation for the frankly appalling service."

"I want the truth."

"Oh, I'm not lying. You should try eating what passes as food around here."

The man stepped forward suddenly, faint light glinting off blue eyes as his gaze pinned her, immobilising in its coldness.

"Tell me, River Song, is _he_ dead?"

River dropped her hands from the bars at the bitter growl of the words. A trickle of fear sending shivers down her spine.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

"No. But I know of you, by reputation. And if it's true, if he is really dead, and you're the one who killed him, these bars won't protect you."

"Who are you?" River asked, hating the tremble in her voice. She swallowed thickly, forcing her voice to steady as she tried to buy time to think. "If you are going to kill me, you could at least tell me who you are."

The man dropped his gaze, shoulders stiffening as he took a shuddering breath. "So it's true?"

River hesitated at the pain in those words. Mind racing as the air of danger surrounding him seemed to intensify.

"The Doctor is dead," she said steadily.

The man touched something on his wrist and the lock on her cell clicked open, setting alarms off. She took a step back, trying to find space to defend herself as he came through the door, his movements speaking her death in every taut muscle. He took her blows without flinching, driven by an anger she didn't understand.

In a blur of movement, he pinned her against the wall, the back of her head colliding with it painfully. She used her knees and elbows in what little space left to her, but couldn't stop cool fingers from finding her neck. As he used his weight to stifle her struggles, his grip tightened ruthlessly.

"The guards will be here in thirty seconds, I assure you, that will be more than enough time," he whispered in her ear as his fingers tightened around her neck.

River tried to swallow, forcible shoving down panic that would be of no use, before what little breath she had caught in her throat. The cloak had fallen back, giving her the first real look at his face.

"I know you." She forced the words through her aching throat.

His fingers loosened almost imperceptibly.

"Jack. Some things...can't... be spoken aloud," she managed to whisper hoarsely.

His eyes clouded with confusion and a painful, desperate flair of hope.

The guards rounded the corner to find River Song's cell empty. It wasn't the first, and wouldn't be the last time.

.......................

River gasped as a rush of cool, fresh air filled her lungs, mind reeling from the sudden relocation and flood of oxygen. She fell to her knees, landing in soft green grass, with no idea where they were as Jack Harkness loomed over her.

He dropped to his knees, hands grasping her shoulders as he stared into her eyes, searching for answers she didn't know if she could give him.

"You know me. How?"

"I spent years researching the Doctor, trying to find him. Amongst all the myths, lies and truth were hints of a man who couldn't die. He avoided my questions, so I asked the TARDIS."

"And she answered? I was under the impression the TARDIS didn't much like me."

"Wouldn't take it personally, time machines and paradoxes aren't always the best mix."

"And the Doctor? Look me in the eye, River, and tell me if he's dead."

River was a very good liar, she'd learned from the best after all, and had convinced a universe that the man she loved was dead. She knew almost nothing about Jack Harkness, only vague mentions of half rumoured myths, and odd bits and pieces secreted away in earth's history over three thousand years ago. The TARDIS had confirmed a few things, including the fact that he had travelled with the Doctor for awhile, and saved earth more than once. Yet she wanted very much to share her secret with him, but the promise she had made held her back.

River realised she had hesitated in giving an answer as she saw a smile tip Jack's lips, having comprehending the lie where so many others had failed to.

"Oh, that is so like him."

"He is dead," River said hurriedly, mildly panicked at having given away that secret after only six months.

Jack reached up a hand, cupping her cheek. "No one will ever hear different from my lips, I promise."

He leant in and kissed her gently on the forehead, before helping her to her feet, a broad grin lighting up his features and pushing back that air of cold despair he carried.

"Jack..."

"You don't have to say anything. And I'm sorry, for everything," he said, suddenly serious again, the words carrying the weight of someone older, so very much older than her.

River saw so much understanding in those eyes, knowing that the apology was not only for his actions tonight, but for the burden and sacrifice of the secret she carried.

"I should take you back."

"Probably," River answered, feeling abruptly drained.

Jack studied her for a moment. "Though you know, there are these sea cliffs a few miles from here I have always wanted to see, would you mind," he asked, holding out his hand to her.

River smiled. "My guards will be ever so displeased," she said as she took his hand.

They stood in silence, buffeted by a salt laden wind as it whirled over the cliffs for hours, before he took her back to her cell. Something was shared in those hours that River couldn't put into words, but that she held onto in the lonely nights until the Doctor returned.

.......................

River watched as the Doctor flicked through his diary. He skimmed the pages as he tried to determine at what point in their timelines she was. River smiled as he muttered to himself, before flicking shut his diary as she leaned across and kissed him on the cheek.

The Doctor's diary was filled with pages of entries, more adventures than she had dared hope for in her worst moments.

"I think it's safe to say it very early for me," she whispered, suddenly completely content with that fact. "How does a nice quiet picnic sound?"

.......................

River's imprisonment passed slowly, interrupted by fleeting moments of adventure that whirled pass, filling the pages of her diary. Each time she greeted the Doctor with a smile, and full of excitement. Each time he left became harder and harder, as the solitude ate at her. Anger and resentment finding her on those nights spent alone.

Two hundred and Eighty-two days. River curled up on her bed, letting the drum of the rain fill her thoughts and drown out the resignation of what her life had become. Alone, utterly alone. She knew the Doctor would never forget her, would come by as often as possible. She couldn't help wondering if that was enough though, with her fiercely independent nature fighting, begrudging, her growing dependence on him.

Lost in her thoughts, she jumped at the unexpected touch of a hand on her shoulder.

"Room for one more in there?"

River raised an eyebrow at Jack as he smiled down at her.

"Only if you're not overly attached to certain appendages."

Jack threw his hands up, feigning innocence. "Whatever could you mean?"

River sat up, making room for him to sit next to her.

"Here, I brought something for you," Jack said as he pulled a package from his coat pocket, smelling suspiciously of apple and cinnamon.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," she exclaimed delightedly as she unwrapped it, taking a bite of the pastry inside. "It delicious!"

"From the best bakery this Galaxy has to offer."

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brings you here?"

"Bored," Jack answered with a shrug.

"I'm the one in prison, but you're bored?"

Jack chuckled. "I kicked the time travel habit a while back. It turns out things can get tedious when you're always going in a straight line."

"Sounds like a real tragedy," River said, playfully mocking him.

"It's not so bad. I caught up on some reading." Jack looked around her bare cell. "Speaking of, why don't you have any books?"

River shrugged. "I'm not allowed any."

"Huh. Well I'd best be off. Enjoy the pastry," Jack said, wiping a crump from her lip with his a brush of his thumb, before disappearing.

River smiled as she finished eating. Two days later, the guards handed her a parcel of books.

.......................

River ran her fingers over her lips, swearing she could still feel the press of the Doctor's lips. She leant against the bars of her cell, muscles still singing from their headlong dash back to the TARDIS, hostile aliens of some species they never got around to discovering the name of hot in pursuit as she had fired, before he had dropped her back in her cell.

It wasn't the first time they had kissed, but it had been the most passionate yet.

She smiled as a breeze appeared out of nowhere, ruffling her hair. As the door of the cloaked TARDIS opened, River ran into the Doctor's arms, lips finding his again before he could say anything. She ran her fingers through his hair as they stumbled backwards. He moaned as he bumped into the railing of the stairs, though more from her wandering fingers than pain.

His hands slipped under the lose shirt she wore, fingers pressing into her skin, as she ran her tongue over his. River smiled as she he tried to say something, but managed little more than to rasp her name, finding all the encouragement she needed in that gasp of sound.

Her fingers wandered lower, feeling the press of his collar bone, ribs and hips beneath his clothes, brushing teasingly against his cock before moving higher again. She tugged at his bow tie until it hung loose, and tore open his shirt, not caring that she ripped buttons off, the gentle sound of them hitting the floor unnoticed by either one of them.

She let him take control as he turned them so she was pressed against the railing, too impatient for him to be inside her to care about who was leading. His hands reached lower, hitching up the skirt she was infinitely glad she had chosen to wear earlier, as she worked the fasting of his trousers open.

River gasped hotly against his cheek as he finally entered her, forgetting anything else existed as they moved together, lost as he whispered sweet words into her ear.

They made love again later that night, more gently, sweeter, beneath the glow of the time rotor before she said good night, River unable to hide her smile as she exited the TARDIS. She never knew if the Doctor she made love to that night had been the same one who had dropped her off minutes early, or if she had just given a very warm welcome to him as he landed at some other point in his timeline.

It was her first time with him, whether it was for him or not, for once didn't matter.

.......................

River lost count of the days of her imprisonment. The torment of that first year almost forgotten, having found peace with herself between her numerous escapes from Stormcage, some with the Doctor, others with Jack and yet more on her own over the years.

Yet the last few visits from the Doctor had brought a bitters realisation. More and more often, he was getting younger, knowing her less and less. They were out of order, and she was now having to keep more and more from him.

She had 're-met' her parents, though they too did not know her. She never thought it would be so painful, to see those she loved, and have them not recognise her. It opened up a gaping hole within her, threatening to steal the warmth from all her memories of them.

River raised her hand to her lips as she watched the TARDIS dematerialise, the faint impression of his lips fading, no matter how much she wanted to hold onto it. Their first kiss for him, possibly the last for her, she was losing him, bit by bit, as he was only just finding her.

River refused to let the tears fall, for fear they wouldn't stop. Her strength faltering, she gripped the bars of her cell, the same cold bars that had witnessed their love grow, and now cruelly unwind.

She heard a noise behind her, and turned to see Jack waiting for her.

"Not now Jack."

"River..."

"Not now! Any time, but now."

He took a step closer to her, as she refused to look at him.

"Just go away. I don't want to see _you_. I don't want..."

Jack ignored her pleas, stepping closer again, reaching for her. River shoved him away.

"Just GO!" She screamed turning away, not wanting him to see the pain she couldn't hold in.

Jack moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her as she shook from the tears she didn't want to shed. River's knees gave way, and he guided her to the floor, enfolding her crumpled form in an embrace that was impossibly gentle. That night, in that moment, River Song came undone in Jack's arms. Senseless words falling around them as she let all the emotion, the pain, and cruel unfairness of it all tumble loose. Sheltered in his arms, she cried for the love she was losing.

She let his stream of soothing words, and tender touches wash over her, unable to undo the horror of it all, only take a share of the burden and offer what solace he could. He was one of the few unwavering constants of her life. Their friendship had always been in sync, and she held onto that desperately. The only loved one who always knew her, the simplicity of a shared timeline a lifeline amongst temporal turmoil.

Jack held her for hours, through all the pain, and pulled her out the other side of it.

.......................

Myth and legend filtered into cultures throughout the universe of the Doctor and Jack Harkness, but few would ever know them as she would. The woman who would marry or kill the Doctor, in the end she did both.

River spent her days at Stormcage in solitude, in study, writing words that could never capture the glory of their adventures, of a love that consumed her even as it destroyed her from entwined lives shared backwards. She filled her diary with him, with her Doctor and their nights together.

Those other nights, she never put into words. Those stolen moments of friendship that sheltered her as the storm engulfed her. She never understood how Jack always knew when she was alone, how he always appeared in those times when the gaps between the Doctor's visits were longest, and when she most needed him. She never asked, just accepted the companionship and comfort he offered.

She made a life for herself, filling the moments between adventures with the Doctor with her own adventures, until the name River Song carried its own legends. In the end, she lived, truly lived.

.......................

Jack waited in the shadows, watching as the Doctor stood with shoulders slumped as he stared at the spot where River had just been. He couldn't see the Doctor's face, but didn't have to, to know it would be ravaged with grief and guilt.

He waited for the Doctor to turn, and begin walking back to the TARDIS before stepping out into the light, the Doctor's step faltering as he saw Jack. They stood facing each other in silence, the sounds of the singing towers drifting between them.

The Doctor cleared his throat, emotions swirling across his features before he tried to cover them.

"Jack?"

"I know why your here," Jack cut in.

"I've always wanted to see the towers..."

"That's not what I meant."

The Doctor looked away.

"River is gone isn't she?" Jack asked quietly.

"Yes."

Jack nodded. He had already known, but that one simple word still cut through him, as silence stretched between them again, full of loss.

"I didn't know you knew her," the Doctor said after a while.

"She was good friend," Jack answered.

"Oh. I'm...sorry."

Jack shrugged, not really looking for an apology. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets. There were no words that could be said that would make either of them feel better. He hadn't even been sure what had brought him here until this moment. He thought he would be angry, that he would vent all of his grief at the Time Lord for destroying River, even if that wouldn't have been fair. Yet that wasn't why he came.

He realised he was here for River. That she wouldn't want her Doctor to be alone this night.

Jack turned to face the towers, moonlight washing over them as a melody filled the air.

"They truly are magnificent aren't they?" He said quietly, the statement about more than just the Towers of Darillium.

The Doctor smiled, sad and full of everything that couldn't be voiced.

"They're amazing."

.......................

Dust swirled as a coat brushed against the long abandoned surfaces of the Library. Fingers lingered over a tattered blue cover of a book as it was set back in place, the secrets of its pages only ever seen by its author, and a friend who had always been there for her, at exactly the right moments.

Slumbering in the computer core, the ghost of River Song stirred.

A hushed whisper of, _Goodbye River_ , echoed through the empty halls, tender and loving.

River smiled in her sleep. _Thank you Jack, for everything_ , she whispered in return, before rolling over, caught in peaceful dreams and memories of the two men she had loved, and a life well lived.

Her story came to an end in the Library, but the legend of her lived on, twisted in lies and half forgotten truths over time, as all tales were. Her memory carried most tenderly in the hearts of a man who couldn't die, and the Time Lord who supposedly did.


End file.
